Stages 1 - 3 Acceptance to Comprehend

1              ACCEPTANCE

Having encephalitis wasn’t much fun.  There was no real reason as to why the fairly common virus decided to visit my brain. I didn’t do anything to provoke it. I wasn’t a bad teenager. It wasn’t fair that I succumbed to the illness.  It wasn’t fair that no-one could tell my poor parents what was going on for months and that initially they were given incorrect information and advice.

The recovery wasn’t a bundle of laughs either for any of us.  So little help and support meant we were making it up as we went along.

Feeling in the dark and uncertain as to what I could expect from myself, indulging in a pity of self pity and wanting to solve issues NOW has recurred periodically.  Over time I have realised that in attempting to identify and deal with the issues that I have had, both old and new ones, is too much in one go. 

From this experience I have decided that the first stage is ACCEPTANCE that I have had encephalitis, that I have acquired brain injury and that this interferes with my life. It’s hard to view this as a standalone position.  It’s hard not to ask why me but that isn’t constructive. You’re asking yourself a question that has no answer.

So I attempt to keep myself focused on simply ACCEPTING the situation exists and not seeking to address everything in one go. 

2              UNDERSTAND

Seeking the answers to the inevitable questions of why has this happened is difficult.  There are so many questions it is confusing, particularly as it can be hard to work out which should be the first question to answer and where does one question end and the next one begin.  What are the short term changes, what are the long term consequences; education, careers, relationship and finances at the very least.

As much as you want to know straight away, it’s just not going to happen.  Realising that is the case is an immense help.  UNDERSTANDING that there are many facets of your life that will be affected to varying degrees, that it will take time to return to functioning more fully and that trial and error will be involved is the next step.

3              COMPREHEND

Working out what any changes are, realising these changes may alter from the short to the longer term of their own accord, spotting the little things you’ve done without realising (for example I found myself using a finger to trace the words on a page like a small child which was a big step forward as it meant I had found a way into being able to read with less stress and suddenly realised one day that I was doing this less and less) and being aware of energy levels, both mental and physical, and that they will need to be managed on an on-going basis.