4 GRIEVE
Mourning is a healing process. You are allowed to miss the person who has died and also to wonder what your own life will be like without them and what it would be like if they were still here. There will be triggers, photos, birthdays, anniversaries, a football team winning the FA Cup, which will bring your loss back to the front of your mind. This might be a momentary flicker or leave you surrounded by tissues. Society allows this, even recognises as healthy.
I underwent significant changes in personality, ability and expectation for life. For a long time I expected I would return to Me Version 1 but this hasn’t happened. I do get frequent glimpses of this person but for the most part they are completely lost to me.
I still feel this loss even now. I really don’t know who I am. However since it occurred to me to treat the disappearance of Me Version 1 as a bereavement I have found it much easier. I can GRIEVE for those parts of me without reproaching myself for self-pity yet can move forward as I’m not hanging around waiting for them to return.
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