Seven Stages of Managing

I can’t say I had no help in coping.  I saw a quite well known, although rather eccentric, cognitive behavioural therapist who was helpful.  Mind you, you do lose faith in someone when they say they don’t think this will work in your case!  Looking back I think I must have taken this as a challenge as I certainly have incorporated my take on CBT into my life.

From what I learnt through successes, failures, bloody-mindedness, despair and enjoyment of things I probably would not have experienced had I not been ill, I began to recognise patterns recurring. 

I also realised that splitting down tasks into component parts and that each part should be seen as an individual action.  For example people say they are going to write a list of things they need to do that day as if this is a single task.  It isn’t.  To write a list requires

1                    finding a pen

2                    finding some paper

3                    remembering why you have the pen and paper

4                    establishing what is to go on the list

5                    grouping tasks together eg in the house, outside, shopping etc

6                    prioritising what has to be done first

7                    compiling the list

8                    remembering where the list is or simply that it exists.

There are days when I zoom through to number 8 in my head but others when I can only do bit by bit.  Thank goodness for post-it notes.  I use these to write single items on and then rearrange them on a door until it makes sense.  Recognising that I don’t have to dash off my to do list in five minutes but rather that I can go so far and then have a break has been so enabling. 

Since working this out the number of tantrums and tears has diminished greatly albeit the frustration remains.

From this navel gazing over many years I have identified seven stages.  By adhering to them I have been so enabled to increase what I can do comfortably on a daily basis.  Although to be frank there are times when either forget or deliberately ignore them.  You can’t be sensible all the time.  These stages are:

1                    Accept

2                    Understand

3                    Comprehend

4                    Grieve

5                    Explore

6                    Learn

7                    Consolidate

I shall flesh out what I mean by these stages over the next couple of postings.